Communication: smash a screw with a hammer and end up bent out of shape
You wouldn’t pound a screw with a hammer, nor would you screw drive a nail. So don’t “smash a screw” with your communication methods either.
I spend a lot of time thinking about communication methods. Not only tools and apps and stuff (the media through which communication travels), but what I’d call the “style” or the “method” of communication. And for that, two options: synchronous or asynchronous.
It’s amazing how many people are one-dimensional and have a life littered with bent screws. Often the bent screws are other people. Let’s solve that problem by choosing the right style in the right situation with the right person, honoring and preserving the two most precious resources we have: time and attention.
Synchronous #sync is something like a phone call or a face-to-face.
Asynchronous #async is something like email (well, if used properly) or a nice letter snail mailed via Pony Express (not that anybody does that anymore).
There are myriad tools available for #sync communication, from telephones to Skype to walking over to that person and sitting right in front of him. Same for #async, from email to texting to Slack to Basecamp.
In my experience, folks who tend to fall into uni-tool mode tend to do it with synchronous communication. They seem to think everything must be done with a phone call or a meeting: something synchronous where the other parties drop everything at a particular, coordinated, place and time. It’s complete nonsense, is at best inefficient, and is at worst outright disrespectful (of others’ time and attention).
The tool analogy really does work here. If I’m building a house, I’m carrying both a hammer and a screwdriver, for the simple fact that some constructs need to be nailed, and others need screws. No problem: I’ll carry both and choose the appropriate one for the use case.
In my world, and I’d argue in most people’s worlds, it turns out the better mix is probably slanted toward async, and not sync, and I bet it’s the good old 80/20 ratio, too.
The primary problem with overzealous synchronous communication is that it forces all parties to the table regardless of whether each one is ready for it at the moment, and hijacks everybody’s attention.
Ever received a phone call during a wedding? Did you answer it, or let it go to voicemail? If you answered it, please leave a comment below (or…call me?) because I actually saw a stranger, at a wedding, do that, after disrupting the whole crowd via ringtone. She actually answered the call and began talking. I was dumbfounded, and I’d like to know the person’s name. Odds are that nah, you knew that unless it was the babysitter (could it be an EMERRRRGENCY!!!!!????), the person absolutely could not command your synchronous attention right then.
There are some folks who, if I email them, will respond by calling me. Every. Single. Time. I do not answer the calls. I have a reason (actually more than ten reasons, sometimes) why I used asynchronous, written communication. Their decision to ignore that and force me into #sync mode, refusing to reply otherwise, offends more than my obsession with the topic, but can actually harm some key long-term preservation of the thoughts that I need to capture, plus the other nine reasons. And hey, I might be sitting in a wedding when they call. (By the way, attorneys are notorious for this but, in their case, their reason for replying verbally is calculated on the legal effects, which I realize can also play a part).
An objection may be raised:
“But wait, sometimes those mega-threads in email get so discombobulated and painfully confused that it has to be solved via a call or a meeting!”
Answer: Yes, absolutely.
I’m not talking about those situations. They’re far more rare than you think, but sure, they happen. So do energizing strategy/brainstorm sessions (we call them “riff sessions”). Great stuff! I already said it: put a hammer and a screwdriver in your belt — both.
I’m talking about the rampant over-use of hammers where screwdrivers are needed. The top offender is the ubiquitous “meeting.” Most office-job type workers bemoan that they can’t get anything done at work because they sit in meetings all day long. Yep. Hammers.
“But it’s just easier to pick up the phone and call the person, get it handled!”
Easier for whom? Probably you, at least in your own head. But yet again, fact is that sure, in some cases it is better, is easier (in the end) for everybody, and should be done…just not as often as folks assume.
Speaking of tools (hammer, screwdriver, #sync, #async), which actual software or other communication media/tools you rely on also makes a huge difference, but that’s for another day, another post. Meanwhile, here’s
Arguably the most precious resources that you or any of your fellow homo sapiens have are time and attention. Well, and peanut butter. Allowing others to respond to you when they are ready, if at all feasible, goes light years towards preserving these, not to mention the benefits of care and control over emotions, unification of larger groups of people instead of building information silos, and other goodies.
I thought about holding a live webinar to convey these thoughts, but I knew you were likely engaged in other important things, so I posted it here on CubeStack. Read it when you’re ready.
At Tri-8, we like to communicate via smoke signals and carrier pigeons, if that’s what it takes. Check us out at tri8.com and don’t forget to click the ♥ icon to help spread the message.
